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Kathirikka… Kathirikka… Gundu kathirikka…

Posted by AtPeace on September 19, 2005

Take it from me – for every girl who’s conscious/supposed to be conscious about her age, there are ten guys worried about their weight. And it’s downright hilarious.
Huh… you don’t agree? Well, try it out for yourself, friends. And when I say friends here, I’m referring to friends of the fairer sex… hmm.. seri, let’s make that gentler sex… hmmm, maybe I’ll just safely say female gender (and stay out of controversies on this!!!). Anyway, all you have to do is select one of your male friends of, let’s say, average build. Actually, he can even be of less than average build, wouldn’t matter much.
In the middle of a totally unrelated conversation, punch him jokingly in his tummy (make sure you punch lightly cos you can never be sure about guys. They might just hit you back. And I don’t quite think it will be a pleasurable experience) and exclaim ‘Thoppai!!?!??!‘ with an expression that can display as much shock and disgust as you can fake. Now, stand back and watch him squirm. Even guys who are usually glib and talk non-stop nonsense will falter. ‘Thoppai ellam illa’, he’ll say feebly, sub-consciously trying to feel if he really has such an obvious tummy. Go on and say ‘Gym ku ellam pora nu sonna’ with a thoughtful look, and he’ll invariably respond, ‘illa… ippo konja naala poradhilla’ with an extremely pained expression.
And if you’re ever beaten in an argument (verbally, of course) by a guy and don’t know what to say, try ‘poda gunda’, with obvious emphasis on the ‘gunda’. That should be enough to silence most of them. If caught off-guard (as most of them are bound to be), guys are usually rendered speechless. Of all things on the planet, this one’s close to their heart and they will usually take a few moments to untangle their vocal chords, think of a reasonable retort and start refuting the charge. Responses vary. Some would try to prove with detailed statistics as to how their weight has gone down in the last few weeks/months/years. It might be tough not to, but then, it is not exactly appropriate to laugh out aloud as they rattle off their ways of fighting the evil. Instead, maintain the seriousness and say ‘Apdiya? Gym/jogging poriya enna? Patha weight koranja madhri theriyave illaye…’. If, however, they try to act clever and say, ‘illa… last one month la dhan 5 kgs eritten’, be sure you respond with ‘Apdiya enna? I thought you were always overweight…’ with a bewildered look. (How to carry on this conversation is left as an exercise to the reader.)Of course, you don’t need to wait for a special occasion to try this out. Feel free to spring this on the nearest guy anytime you’re bored in life. And be rest assured that the next few minutes will be absolutely entertaining.
A few words of advice before you go ahead with this, though –
1. Avoid the word fat. For some vague reason, guys resent the usage of this term. ‘Gunda’ might make them wince and squirm in discomfort, but ‘fatso’ can have undesirable and often, unpredictable results, ranging from calculated indifference to a raging desire to use nearby objects as missiles.
2. Guys trying these techniques on other guys just wouldn’t work. For yet another vague reason (actually it’s not vague at all), guys don’t care what other guys think. They take all the teasing in an exceedingly sporting manner. But the minute a girl jokingly says ‘gundaaa..’, well…. hmmm….
3. Don’t lose heart if some guys do not care (or pretend not to). They are exceptions. But then again, it doesn’t mean anything. They must be the guys who tried to lose a few pounds and were unsuccessful in their repeated attempts. So, just carry on with the next guy.
4. As mentioned earlier, responses usually vary from specimen to specimen. Hence, it’s best to be prepared.

Best of luck… and have fun!!

PS : This post is dedicated solely to Scudie, with prayers that he would succeed in the war he’s waging.

Disclaimer : This post is strictly meant for girls to try on guys. Guys, please don’t go about trying to punch girls. Adhanala yerpada koodiya vilaivuku sathyama naan porupilla!!!!

Author’s personal note : Although it’s fun while it lasts, it would be nice to end with a ‘summa dhan sonnen’. The simplest of reasons for this would be to give the poor souls a break. But I would prefer to do it for the bright smiles that instantly light up their faces, when you reveal that you were ‘only pulling their leg’. Maybe your friend is really a fatso, but explain that you were only teasing him and that you honestly don’t think he’s overweight and watch the relief and satisfaction on his face. It’s worth it, I tell you.🙂

30 Responses to “Kathirikka… Kathirikka… Gundu kathirikka…”

  1. VeeKay said

    And u deserve a PhD Madhu.

  2. Tamizhan said

    Wow, an entire post dedicated to me! Feels awesome. Vk, as usual has hit the nail on the head. A PhD would be honored to have you.

    Dhanks for the support!

    PS Idhukku dhaan avlo experimenta?

  3. Harish said

    “GASP! It’s time to tell you a truth..

    A few weeks back, I’d helped an old man struggling with a load on his back. He was extremely pleased and revealed his identity. He was a great rishi who had powers to grant boons. He said ‘un nalla manasukku unna endha ponnum dhadiya-nu koopida koodadhu, kuzhandhaai. so me gives one boon. kezhavinga kannukku mattum thaan un thoppai theriyum. kezhavinga enna nenacha enna?’

    I’m sorry I didn’t tell you this when I was granted this boon. Now that you know, keep this a secret, k?”

    Just a retort🙂

  4. Peelamedu_bulls said

    U touched the most sensitive point.
    Uhh…u can ask a guy to get treatment from Salem Shivraj Sidha vaidhya salai, but indha maadhiri elaam sollapadhu.
    Pasanga thoppai..err i mean manasu poo madhiri

  5. Madhu said

    @Vijai
    thanku.. thanku… thanku…

    @Scudie
    Romba nenaps vendam. You have nothing to do with this post. It was only incidental that you had written a related posted at the same time.

  6. Madhu said

    @ the rest of humanity that has deigned to comment so far
    kutramulla nenju…

    @Harish
    nee old woman nu help panna nu kadhai sollu, namba chance iruku… old man… hehehe….

    @Prabhakar
    Manchukonga thalaiva. Theriyama solliten.🙂

  7. WA said

    LOL. Looks like a lot of research has gone into this post. Paavam pasanga!

  8. Somu said

    Luckily for me I have never had this problem. THough on the contrary I get really pissed off if someone says, “Poda ollikuchi”

    To some extent what you are saying is true. Couple of my friends were buring all the calories they can for 6 long months (I was trying gain weight along with them) and all coz they wanted to look good on the day of their marriage. But then, these days they dont really care.

    In these days when health awareness is on its high, both genders are sweating it out to burn the fat ! So, I personally feel that it applies for both sexes !

  9. harry said

    a full post to scudie…well,hmm..strange and interesting….have u seen him mads?? he doesn’t look that fat??but thoppai..well, enna scudie avuthu udalaama unmaiyaa?? anyways nice read..,btw my SB does not work..so in case u plan to blogroll me i dont have any issues and to tell you the truth it will be a honour…why..becoz some ppl still manage to find time to read my crappy stuff..

  10. F e r r a r i said

    Ahem!!
    Easy to retort to girls. Just look at them from top to bottom and say ‘Enna inniku’ and raised eyebrows. And then act busy and be occupied with work. Ivanga thalai vedichidum😀
    Comedy aa irukkum veLayaattu😀

  11. Madhu said

    @Uma
    🙂

    @Somu
    It’s definitely true that both genders are striving to stay fit these days. But it’s the guys’ reaction that I find extremely amusing.🙂

  12. Madhu said

    @Hari
    ‘Chennai Born Confused Softie’ nu correct-a dhan peru vechiruka. When did I tell you that I wanted to blogroll you? Vera yaaro paavama unnoda SB la msg panninadha dhan naan sonnen!🙂

    And ivlo periya post la comment panna unakku vera vishayame illaya? Scudie ku naan dedicate pannadhu dhan unakku theriyudha, nanba? and then again, about scudie and fat… absolutely no comments!!!

  13. Madhu said

    @ferrari
    neengalam ipdi solradhu-nala dhan we girls have to come up with retorts like in my blog…😦

  14. Neha said

    neenga vera….thoppai irukku apdinu feel panra en friends(comedy a avangalukku thoppai irukkara madhriyae theriyadhu) oda complex a koraikka me working hard here🙂

  15. Sathish said

    🙂 … 🙂

  16. Madhu said

    Actually, Neha, that’s exactly what I am trying to say. Normal build-a irukara pasangaluku kooda oru velaia avanga gundo nu oru bayam…

    ye, Sathish,🙂

  17. Pensive said

    Very true, I once for fun called a friend of mine “fatso” cant call him “gunda” he cant understand tamil😛

    He bugged me the whole day…”Have i really become fat?” “have i?” “have i?” In all this he is not even medium build…hez SKINNY!!!!!

    Know what happened? He ended up not eating for 2 days :0

    Mennnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!

  18. Madhu said

    @Pavi
    hehe…

  19. Siva said

    ROTFL…

    Yeah… It does not work on most guys…

  20. Raam said

    Good one Madhu🙂

  21. Saranya Kishore said

    hiya madhu
    Nice page. Love it. Will (try to) visit as often, do blogging.🙂

  22. Senthil.... said

    Madhu,
    Unnoda varuthangal puriyudhu.. Gunda irukkara pasangalae ( & ponnungalayum dhaan) nee oru madhiri ‘yaekkamaa’ pakkaradhukkaana artham enakku ippo puriyudhu..
    But lemme say someth… to the extent i’ve seen the reaction by saying ‘fattie’ to a girl is too much when u say the same thing (or gundaa) to a guy…wat u say ??

  23. Madhu said

    @Siva
    🙂 Thanks for visiting my page!

    @Raam
    Mikka nandri.

    @Saranya
    oooh.. thanks! Good to see you here!!

  24. Madhu said

    @Senthil
    Romba try panra enna damage panna… hehe…

    hmmm… girls reaction pathi enakku edhum theriyadhu pa… i mean, adha pathi naan yen research pannanum?😉

  25. Siva said

    Whoa!! Twenty four comments and still counting…

    I’ll blogroll u… Can u do it too ??

  26. Madhu said

    @Siva
    Huh… well, you can blogroll me if you feel like doing so… and I will blogroll you when I feel like doing so… ok va?

  27. Phoenix-Revived said

    very cute

  28. Madhu said

    @The Phoenix
    Thanks!🙂

  29. Santhosh said

    I tried the same thing with my girl friend. She was wearing some tight jeans which were too tight and her belly was spilling over (like most average girls). I caught her belly and said “Enna thoppai came already for you ah… I thought after marriage only. Thoppai thoppai..” I patted it softly. She didn’t mind but looked at me kinda weird. It was sooooo cute.

    My friend also tried it with his girl in a bus seat. She was putting on some weight and he pretended to accidentally have his hand bump her belly which was coming through her salwar. He began poking at it. I think she got annoyed by it though and tried to suck it in… but couldn’t ha ha ha ha… It was sad😦

  30. Priya said

    What if the boy replies to the girl “As if your thoppai is any smaller. Go to Ladies gym gundu” and pats it. Would be really embarrasing na😦

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